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New research has indicated that those with a flair for creativity could also be benefiting from more romance and passion.
The collaborative efforts of researchers from Northwestern University and Goldsmiths of the University of London have recently led to the publication of new research that has looked to explore and assess whether being creative can help those in long-term relationships keep that all-important fire burning for longer.
Of course, as the researchers are keen to point out, romantic passion comes in all shapes and sizes; one couple’s romantic getaway is another’s holiday hell after all. Whether it has been understood as romantic yearning, physical attraction, desire, or simply pure erotic attraction, numerous studies have sought to demonstrate the role that passion plays in long-term relationships, and perhaps just as importantly, personal well-being.
One can see the importance that we place on romance just by browsing the shelves at your nearest bookshop, scrolling through the Netflix library, or even just hitting the shuffle button on Spotify. We are seemingly obsessed with passion and have never stopped searching for new ways of talking about it.
Still, as all too many of us unfortunately know, romance can be all too fragile – an all too delicate light trying to flicker in a tempest. Marriage – traditionally a lifelong commitment – is coming to be increasingly understood as much more delicate arrangement. In fact, many theories that attempt to explore our romantic passions now acknowledge that passion peaks early in most relationships and will slowly decrease over time.
But, fortunately for the romantics amongst us, this is not always the case.
What recent studies say
One recent study has found that among couples in relationships of at least 10 years or more, at least 40% were happy to declare that they still felt “very intensely in love”. This same study went further, however. These self-evaluations were complemented with functional MRI results. These showed that these long-term couples who reported a high degree of passion in their relationships displayed heightened activation in the same brain regions as those people who were still in the earliest stages of a new relationship (when passion is typically at its peak).
In their attempts to understand the factors that can help keep the passion burning long after we’ve grown comfortable with our partners, researchers have identified a plethora of possible candidates. Small details have been shown to have a big impact, with even simple decisions such as being regularly intimate with your partner, being focused sharing and celebrating positive experiences of the relationship, being communicative and responsive to the needs of your partner, and the belief that sexual satisfaction, as related to passion, can be achieved and maintained through consistent communication and care for each other’s needs and desires.
Creativity and Romantic Passion study
The new research conducted by Kathleen L. Carswell and El J. Finkel of Nothwestern University and Madoka Kumashiro of Goldsmiths, however, has sought to explore new criteria for establishing and maintaining passion in long-term relationships: Creativity.
Creativity is the ability to conjure up something original and unexpected. It’s an exciting skill, the ability to produce something out of nothing, and countless studies have made creativity their focus. Although it has often been recognised that creativity can play an important role in our emotional well-being and satisfaction, its importance in our relationships with others has, until recently, been less well explored. Studies have consistently identified that creative people are superior in attracting potential mates, as well as being able to establish more enduring emotional bonds. However, until this most recent study, there was little awareness of the value of creativity in keeping the preservation of passion in established – i.e. long-term – relationships.
The research has indicated that creativity, amongst other things, can be associated with the ability to see one’s partner through “rose-tinted glasses” so to speak. This is not to suggest a disingenuous desire to mask a partner’s failings, but rather a desire on the part of the other to see their partner in a more favourable light. The ability to look past these perceived shortcomings can make a partner feel more attractive, confident, and content in the relationship. Another benefit related to creativity is the engagement in creative pursuits and activities. The implication in this is for spontaneity; creativity allows couples to avoid the potential ruts that can derail relationships, such as monotony in routine and frustration.
First part of the study
The first of the three studies conducted by the researchers involved an online survey, which allowed 510 participants (both woman and men) to complete questionnaires. All participants were in a committed relationship. The questionnaires they completed included the Creative Personality Scale and the Creative Behaviour Scale, which measure personality traits and behavioural patterns that may be linked to creativity. Participants in this initial survey were also asked to complete questions that related to the sexual satisfaction and overall partner satisfaction.
Second part of the study
The second study involved interviews with 139 couples. The participants were asked to rate their partner based on a series of twenty-six traits. These included both creativity and attractiveness. They were then asked to rate themselves according to these same traits. This was done to measure the extent of the positive illusion, relative to the partner self-assessments.
Third part of the study
The researchers were interested in understanding how creativity affected passion over time. Every 3 months the participants would be tested with questionnaires to measure creativity and the levels of passion in their relationship.
For the final part of the study, the researchers asked the participants to complete a “Physical Intimacy Task”. This involved the participants being left alone in private for seven minutes and being allowed to engage in “as little or as much physical intimacy as you’d like (within reason)”. The couples were secretly videotaped, allowing the researchers to assess the extent of their physical intimacy.
The results
The results were consistent across all three of the team’s experiments. Those with a more creative personality according to the results were shown to consistently be associated with a more passionate relationship. There was a strong correlation between creativity and passion overall, whilst the results also reflected the importance of positive partner illusions in keeping romantic passions alive. Those participants who were highly creative and reported strong passion over time were far more likely than their less creative colleagues to rate the physical attractiveness and appeal of their partners more highly. In fact, they often rated their them higher than their respective partner’s rated themselves. Measures of creativity also indicated that there would be greater passion during the Physical Intimacy Task, which was actually carried out nine months after the initial rounds of questions.
How can you benefit from this study?
The results of this study, and others of its ilk show that there are ways of preserving that all important spark in long-term relationships. Alongside more established relationship-based techniques for maintaining passion, such as sharing new experiences with your partner and being responsive and communicative to one another, the important role of creativity in successful relationships needs to be better understood. Another crucial thing to take away from this recent research is the importance of the positive partner illusions. Although this study looked at physical attraction alone, positive illusions can extend to a much broader range of different personality traits and qualities as well.
It’s not just the positive role that creativity can play in relationships. Creative people have also been shown to be more receptive to experimentation, to trying new experiences, and overall show greater passion in their lives more generally. These can include their careers, maintaining friendships, and their hobbies and interests. Unfortunately, all too many people tend to regard creativity as an innate character trait, rather than a skill to be refined over your life. The reality is that people can learn to develop their own creativity and reap the associated benefits.
Ideas to spark creativity in your relationship
Take the time to think of some fun activities to do together.
Think of a creative gift to give to your partner. Something you have made perhaps?
Be a kid again! Focus on simple, yet entertaining activities you did as kids such as skateboarding, drawing with chalk on the walls, write with lipstick on the mirror etc and enjoy these activities together!
Cook or bake something together (while dancing adds extra creativity ;)
Surprise your partner while at work by inviting them to a lunch (when we only see our partner after work, they mainly see the accumulated stress and tiredness from work on us)
Go to the park and lay down to stargaze, talking about what you want to achieve in life without being scared that your partner will judge you.
Try This Out
Bring in more creativity in your relationship by trying this communication exercise
EXERCISE: Take time to chat around the subjects below that will allow you to connect deeper.
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ...Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
Final thoughts
So nurse your creativity, let it grow into a positive influence on your life and bring it to your relationships in life; it doesn’t have to be just your romantic relationships, but even those with your family and friends. It could just help you rediscover the passion you thought you were losing.
Do you feel that you want to talk more about the challenges you are facing with your relationship? Book your session below and let’s talk.